You have died, Coolmann.\n\nSome dude poisoned your beer when you were asleep.\n\nDon't sleep at work, son.\n\n[[Reincarnate as your dad.]]\n[[Reincarnate as Satan.]]\n[[Reject reincarnation, eternal void.]]
The use of the term 'nightmare' was not meant to indicate that you were dreaming, Coolmann... nonetheless I have lost track of where we were in the story. Perhaps you have died.\n\n[[Reincarnate as Coolmann.]]
You continue to stand. Still. Contemplative.\n\n[[Stab your male secretary.]]
Saying you're sorry implies there is a you, which there is not... Coolmann. You're a Buddhist, son. You have no self because you're constantly dissolving.\n\n[[Frantically try to pick up the rapidly dissipating pieces of yourself.]]\n[[Let go.|Denounce Buddhism.]]
You achieve enlightenment. Your children continue to disrespect you and call you "Lamemann" but because you believe you're enlightened you are able to 'transcend' their remarks. But in reality they still get to you, because you never really transcended anything. Your wife hates you because you are a smug jerk who only turned to Buddhism as the result of a mid-life crisis and you still don't know enough about Buddhism to seriously be considered 'legit' by anyone, frankly.\n\n[[Watch American Beauty.]]
You are one religiously confused Buddhist, Coolmann! You're not meant to think that Satan exists!\n\n[[Reincarnate as Coolmann.]]\n[[Denounce Buddhism.]]
You are one sensible Buddhist, Coolmann.\n\nFun fact: not even Buddhists want to have sex with their mothers.\n\n[[Fist pump!]]
You scream "die, traitor!" at your male secretary. You then do nothing further.\n\n[[Continue to do nothing further.]]\n[[Do something further.]]
Are you Coolmann, the flaky Buddhist?\n\n[[Yes.|Reincarnate as Coolmann.]]\n[[No.]]
Smart decision, Coolmann. Smarter than you will ever know...\n\nYou investigate some dude who has way too many parking fines. He seems mad at you. He also seems to know an abnormally large quantity of facts about your life, yet you have never met him. Or have you?\n\n[[Yeah, I think I remember him hanging around the office!]]\n[[How he know me? (Stab him)]]
Don't lie, Coolmann, you don't even have an office.\n\n[[That's OK, I guess. Sorry I lied, dude.]]\n[[Get a promotion.]]
You wake up with chalk in every orifice. Coolmann.\n\n[[Just... I don't know, dude.]]
You are one Oedipal Buddhist, Coolmann.\n\n[[Nice...|Fist pump!]]
Eternal recurrence is lame as Hell, Coolmann... not that Hell truly exists for you. All that awaits you should you lose faith is the void.\n\n[[Denounce Buddhism.]]
You are one flaky Buddhist, Coolmann!
You are forgiven.\n\n[[Reincarnate as Coolmann.]]
It wasn't him, Coolmann.\n\n[[Apologise.]]
To quit your job is to quit yourself, Coolmann the flaky Buddhist.\n\n[[OK, never mind then.|Flee]]\n[[Denounce Buddhism.]]
You are in a nightmare in which you have no chalk. Chalk defines your existence as a traffic detective. Without chalk you cannot mark tires. You have no authority. And you need that... Coolmann.\n\n[[Wake up, Coolmann!]]\n[[Investigate the chalk theft, Coolmann.]]
You are now Coolmann's dad. You have boned Coolmann's mum at least once.\n\nHow does that feel?\n\n[[Good.]]\n[[I dunno, weird, dude.]]
You have a heart attack and die.\n\n[[Reincarnate as Satan.]]\n[[Reincarnate as Coolmann.]]
You attempt to pull out your handkerchief but then realise you don't actually have one. You've just pulled out more chalk and you're just making everything worse, Coolmann.\n\n[[O GOD WHERE IS ALL THIS CHALK COMING FROM|Flee]]\n[[Quit your shitty job.]]
You watch American Beauty.\n\n[[Cry at sight of plastic bag.|Fail]]\n[[Fap to blonde girl.|Fail]]
You are also a traffic detective. You are investigating parking fines.\n\n[[Cool.]]\n[[No, this is lame.|No.]]
The world's a crazy place, Coolmann.\n\n[[Attain enlightenment.]]
[[You may proceed... Coolmann.]]
Your male secretary is not convinced. "You're playing things too cool, Coolman. Something's up."\n\n[[I thought you were on my side, dude.]]\n[[Die, traitor.]]
You'll always be a loser, Coolmann...\n\nThis is the good ending. Thanks for playing. The other choice led here too, in case you were wondering.
You have no leads.\n\nYou ask your male secretary for more chalk. Your male secretary tells you off. He seems suspicious in regards to what you have been doing with all that chalk.\n\n[[Shrug it off.]]\n[[Say nothing.]]\n[[Accuse your male secretary of stealing your chalk.]]
Flaky Buddhists don't kill, Coolmann! You should know better than that. You die somehow. Karma, maybe.\n\n[[Reincarnate as Coolmann.]]
You pull out a piece of chalk from your pocket and plunge it into your male secretary's chest. It's not very effective...\n\n[[U HAD THE CHALK THE WHOLE TIME, COOLMANN! POOR DUDE IS DEAD NOW]]
Do you drink some beer?\n\n[[Yes.]]\n[[Nah, I got work to do.]]
This is not the story for you.\n\nGo home, loose-sir.
Hey, I just said it wasn't effective. That means your male secretary is still very much alive, just mad... and chalky.\n\n[[Apologise.]]\n[[Try to dust him off with your handkerchief.]]\n[[Denounce Buddhism.]]
You go home to your kids, Coolmann. Your eldest calls you "Lamemann" 'cause you didn't let her take a roll-up to school and the other kids make fun of her for being diabetic.\n\n[[Apologise.]]\n[[Cry in your room, denounce Buddhism.|Denounce Buddhism.]]
But your self does not exist, Coolmann.\n\n[[This game sucks.]]
Coolmann, you were clearly wrong. Your male secretary is the antagonist of this story. If you're not careful you'll wake up with chalk in every orifice, Coolmann.\n\n[[Attempt to be careful.|Say nothing.]]
What would you like to do, Coolmann?\n\n[[Stab your male secretary.]]
You lose, but at least it's over.